I have spent the past week looking back over the time since I began to have medical problems.  It took a long time to get a diagnosis and prognosis.  During all those months of being poked, prodded and scanned, I fought like crazy denying there was anything wrong.  My last day at work was July 3, 2010.  I was officially turned over to long-term disability permanently on November 3, 2010.

I was bound and determined that this was the universe letting me know I needed to go in a different direction.  My expectation (from myself) was that I would seamlessly discover my raison d’etre, put together a website/online presence I could run from home.  My hope, naïvely, was to change the world – help women, in particular, to find their voices and strengths to heal their communities, teach each other how to be healthy.

It hasn’t been that easy.  I am dealing with depression – over the loss of my identity as a physiotherapist, my ability to do many of the things I used to do.  I am also living with some serious pain as well as movement disorders – frustrating and embarrassing.  I am still very sure that all this has a higher purpose – it just isn’t an instant transition:-)

I am doing better.  I don’t cry as much.  I have started a course in website design.  My son thinks it’s a lot easier than I do, but I’m working my way through it, finding it interesting.  I am applying for bursaries for other courses I’d like to do but can’t find the dollars to do.  I know I’ll be able to do the ones that are important for me.  I am starting to relax a bit, let myself rest when I need to.  I know how very fortunate I am to have the long-term disability to support me through this time of change.

In addition to the course in web design, I am investigating all kinds of alternative healing.  I know there is so much out there that we have yet to comprehend.  I feel I can investigate some of these strange sounding therapies with a bit of a medical knowledge base as well as an open heart and mind.

I will try to do a better job of keeping you posted.  I am so grateful for all the interest on Twitter.  I so appreciate that others find value in the thoughts I bring forward.  I am very blessed for all my friends – in person and over the internet.

Much love to all,  namaste…Debbie